Apple Card users report that having a member helps you get membership

DOES THE SIZE of your dinkle affect your creditworthiness? One tech company says it has the answer.

Apple, which launched its own credit card earlier this year is facing questions from regulators after it was discovered that women, who can generally be identified by a lack of dinkle, are likely to get lower credit limits if they apply for a card than men, who usually have one.

The pocket-sized card that must never be put in your pocket is managed on Apple’s account by Goldman Sachs who clearly believe that only men can be trusted with high credit limits because they don’t have all those hormones sloshing about, reducing their capacity for learning about how to handle money.

New York’s Department of Financial Services (DFS) has warned that any discrimination by virtue of gentleman vegetables is illegal in New York law.

Several significant figures from around the tech business have been stating their disapproval, most notably Apple co-founder Steve Wozniack. Tech entrepreneur David Heinemeier Hansson, creator of Ruby on Rails, told Bloomberg that he had been given a credit limit 20 times that of his wife, who has a better credit score.

When he pointed this out to Apple, his wife’s limit was suddenly raised.

Wozniack said that he got 10x the limit of his wife, despite the fact that all their other banking affairs are in joint names, meaning that in theory, they should have the same credit score.

Goldman Sachs told Bloomberg: “Our credit decisions are based on a customer’s credit-worthiness and not on factors like gender, race, age, sexual orientation or any other basis prohibited by law.”

That’s fine and dandy – but if there’s been a bad actor in the system (say…. a badly trained AI algorithm that has some level of sexism injected into it) then all the good intentions in the world won’t stop it from rewarding people who have dinkles. What actually needs to happen is some serious retraining.

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